Bifgetfun is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, temperamental giraffe.

Bifgetfun created the planet Earth three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bifgetfun, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Bifgetfun, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Bifgetfun's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Bifgetfun's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate mites.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always help rats.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mice.

5. Never think about chromosomes.