Kemmappidrawteenjin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, thoughtless scorpion.

Kemmappidrawteenjin created vertebrates eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Kemmappidrawteenjin, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kemmappidrawteenjin, she will strike you with lightening.

Kemmappidrawteenjin's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Kemmappidrawteenjin's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Kemmappidrawteenjin in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Do not kill frogs.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not dye your hair green.