Jarnominqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unselfish unicorn.

Jarnominqueeg created humankind three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jarnominqueeg, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Jarnominqueeg, he will refuse to believe in you.

Jarnominqueeg's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Jarnominqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Cats are not to be trusted.

2. Put Jarnominqueeg first in all things.

3. Never skip in the presence of rats.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never eat peas.