Tomlimfen is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, loving weasel.

Tomlimfen created the planet Mars six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tomlimfen, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tomlimfen, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Tomlimfen's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Tomlimfen's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not trade with those who eat corn.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.