Sawcepwig is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, staggering crab.

Sawcepwig created the Small Magellanic Cloud two billion years ago.

If you believe in Sawcepwig, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Sawcepwig, she will not care.

Sawcepwig's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Sawcepwig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Sawcepwig in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never think about optics near monkeys while wearing indigo ear rings and balancing three carbon spheres on your feet.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Sawcepwig.

5. Never feed grapes to tapirs while wearing jumpers.