Dotmadvon is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, fussy coyote.

Dotmadvon created bats seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dotmadvon, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dotmadvon, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Dotmadvon's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Dotmadvon's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Feed all hungry otters.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not wear white clothing.

5. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Dotmadvon in the centre of the settlement.