Tagced Vonparkged is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, slow pig.

Tagced Vonparkged created vertebrates four million years ago.

If you believe in Tagced Vonparkged, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tagced Vonparkged, she will turn you into a frog.

Tagced Vonparkged's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Tagced Vonparkged's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill ducks.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Never wear scarves.

4. You must never eat limes.

5. Run away if five snakes approach from the west.