Gudtafsag Dissmadcep is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, almighty hippopotamus.

Gudtafsag Dissmadcep created dark energy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gudtafsag Dissmadcep, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gudtafsag Dissmadcep, he will make you grow a tail.

Gudtafsag Dissmadcep's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Gudtafsag Dissmadcep's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat lentils.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. You must pray to Gudtafsag Dissmadcep six times a day.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.