Parkgovcem is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, omnipotent manatee.

Parkgovcem created life four years ago.

If you believe in Parkgovcem, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Parkgovcem, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Parkgovcem's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Parkgovcem's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five mites approach from the west.

2. Always look after injured snakes.

3. Never go into gray rooms.

4. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.

5. Never eat peas.