Gondotdag is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, omnipotent pig.

Gondotdag created dark energy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gondotdag, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gondotdag, he will turn you into a slug.

Gondotdag's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Gondotdag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never mention manatees.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.