Carbegtail is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, kind tapir.

Carbegtail created the planet Venus four million years ago.

If you believe in Carbegtail, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Carbegtail, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Carbegtail's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Carbegtail's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics.

3. Never write about photosynthesis.

4. Put Carbegtail first in all things.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.