Sugvagarf Batjipdapmetbaghudarn is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, clever squid.

Sugvagarf Batjipdapmetbaghudarn created the cosmos three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sugvagarf Batjipdapmetbaghudarn, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Sugvagarf Batjipdapmetbaghudarn, he will turn you into a goat.

Sugvagarf Batjipdapmetbaghudarn's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Sugvagarf Batjipdapmetbaghudarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark matter near mice while wearing cyan kilts and balancing four gold spheres on your chest.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never write about moons.

4. You must pray to Sugvagarf Batjipdapmetbaghudarn six times a day.

5. Never eat bark.