Metgemjen is a god.
He takes the form of a very long, competent
crocodile.
Metgemjen created matter eight quadrillion years ago.
If you believe in
Metgemjen, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.
If you do not believe in
Metgemjen, he will turn you into a goat.
Metgemjen's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.
Metgemjen's Holy Commandments1. Run away if seven bats approach from the south.
2. Do not kill moths.
3. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Metgemjen on top of all buildings.
4. Do not make images of living things.
5. Always treat mites with great respect.