Jigyarbim is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, impressive giraffe.

Jigyarbim created the universe four million years ago.

If you believe in Jigyarbim, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Jigyarbim, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Jigyarbim's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Jigyarbim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never hurt foxes.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not shave your back.