Begkimfig is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, all-knowing cow.

Begkimfig created the Whirlpool Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Begkimfig, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Begkimfig, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Begkimfig's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Begkimfig's Holy Commandments

1. Begkimfig loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not kill voles.

3. Never skip in holy places.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Begkimfig must be the most important thing in your life.