Tapcetbuthabtalcab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, tiresome dugong.

Tapcetbuthabtalcab created an electron seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tapcetbuthabtalcab, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tapcetbuthabtalcab, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Tapcetbuthabtalcab's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Tapcetbuthabtalcab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about solid mechanics near bats while wearing yellow ear rings and balancing six aluminium spheres on your arms.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always make sure there are no foxes in a room before entering it.

4. Retreat if seven tortoises approach from the south.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.