Ponzodbif Weebemtar is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, ill-tempered dryad.

Ponzodbif Weebemtar created the Sun three million years ago.

If you believe in Ponzodbif Weebemtar, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Ponzodbif Weebemtar, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Ponzodbif Weebemtar's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Ponzodbif Weebemtar's Holy Commandments

1. Ponzodbif Weebemtar must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

3. Do not take Ponzodbif Weebemtar's name in vain.

4. Learn five new languages a year.

5. Never hurt aardvarks.