Govnigkim is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, weak mink.

Govnigkim created gold six billion years ago.

If you believe in Govnigkim, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Govnigkim, he will turn you into a puffin.

Govnigkim's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Govnigkim's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mice.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never feed melons to dogs while wearing red shorts.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not trade with those who eat corn.