Bumvanort is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, wise wyrm.

Bumvanort created the planet Venus nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bumvanort, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bumvanort, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Bumvanort's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Bumvanort's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never think ill of sick seals.

3. Never write about nebulae.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always help sick porpoises.