Ingmutstrag Jonlitwabrillyik Bigtagfot is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, caring crocodile.

Ingmutstrag Jonlitwabrillyik Bigtagfot created light five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ingmutstrag Jonlitwabrillyik Bigtagfot, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Ingmutstrag Jonlitwabrillyik Bigtagfot, he will destroy your favourite star.

Ingmutstrag Jonlitwabrillyik Bigtagfot's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Ingmutstrag Jonlitwabrillyik Bigtagfot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always help sick snails.

3. Ingmutstrag Jonlitwabrillyik Bigtagfot loves mites, so they must be honoured.

4. Always make sure there are no manatees in a room before entering it.

5. Respect your elders.