Madnadkipven is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, narcissistic human.

Madnadkipven created dark energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Madnadkipven, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Madnadkipven, she will send you a sign.

Madnadkipven's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Madnadkipven's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat parsnips.

2. Madnadkipven loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.

3. Run away if eight frogs approach from the north.

4. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Madnadkipven in the centre of the settlement.

5. Madnadkipven loves nematodes, so they must be respected.