Veensom is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, boastful squirrel.

Veensom created the Large Magellanic Cloud five million years ago.

If you believe in Veensom, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Veensom, it will turn you into a hamster.

Veensom's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Veensom's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick seals.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Veensom.

4. Always look after injured turtles.

5. Never write about comets.