Likdagfag is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, passionate narwhal.

Likdagfag created the cosmos two million years ago.

If you believe in Likdagfag, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Likdagfag, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Likdagfag's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Likdagfag's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Hide from red dogs for they are unholy.

3. Do not skip in public.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Learn nine new languages a year.