Fonwee is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, astonishing centipede.

Fonwee created tapeworms five million years ago.

If you believe in Fonwee, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fonwee, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Fonwee's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Fonwee's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of garlic to frogs while wearing white trousers.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Erect nine gold sculptures of Fonwee on top of important buildings.

4. Always wear magenta.

5. Pray towards the south.