Lanfunban is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, vain spider.

Lanfunban created light two million years ago.

If you believe in Lanfunban, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Lanfunban, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Lanfunban's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Lanfunban's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Put Lanfunban first in all things.

4. Snails are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.