Stipvagwig Bugyardag is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, loving rhinoceros.

Stipvagwig Bugyardag created matter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stipvagwig Bugyardag, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Stipvagwig Bugyardag, it will have a low opinion of you.

Stipvagwig Bugyardag's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Stipvagwig Bugyardag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near birds while wearing yellow shirts and balancing nine carbon spheres on your back.

2. You must pray to Stipvagwig Bugyardag five times a day.

3. Run away if three tapirs approach from the west.

4. Do not keep four goats in a large pit.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.