Japbastfut is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, confident gnu.

Japbastfut created Asia eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Japbastfut, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Japbastfut, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Japbastfut's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Japbastfut's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Hide from pink hamsters for they are unholy.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not hurt gulls.

5. Do not cook food in pots.