Bonbagwigbin is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, dishonourable seal.

Bonbagwigbin created the Cigar Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonbagwigbin, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bonbagwigbin, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Bonbagwigbin's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Bonbagwigbin's Holy Commandments

1. Bonbagwigbin loves goats, so they must be respected.

2. Never talk about optics.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always look after injured snakes.

5. Always take life seriously.