Flabvadnak is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, ruthless snake.

Flabvadnak created the planet Saturn five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabvadnak, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Flabvadnak, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Flabvadnak's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Flabvadnak's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate voles.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Do not dye your hair pink.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.