Quimfubwon is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, sage wombat.

Quimfubwon created a top quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Quimfubwon, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Quimfubwon, he will boil you in a big pot.

Quimfubwon's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Quimfubwon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not dye your hair mauve.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not covet oxen.