Cimhivyar is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, amazing salamander.

Cimhivyar created tapeworms eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cimhivyar, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Cimhivyar, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Cimhivyar's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Cimhivyar's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Learn seven new languages a year.

3. Cimhivyar loves birds, so they must be respected.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cimhivyar.

5. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.