Fligtofkin is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, egotistical dugong.

Fligtofkin created life three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fligtofkin, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fligtofkin, he will turn you into a mole.

Fligtofkin's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Fligtofkin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your face.

2. Never paint your feet fawn.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.