Figflattof is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, cheerful fly.

Figflattof created viruses four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Figflattof, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Figflattof, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Figflattof's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Figflattof's Holy Commandments

1. Always help great tits.

2. Do not dye your hair white.

3. Never go into green rooms.

4. Erect a large copper sculpture of Figflattof on top of all buildings.

5. Do not speak about wheat.