Zedsafortappfud is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, vain ant.

Zedsafortappfud created humanity six million years ago.

If you believe in Zedsafortappfud, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Zedsafortappfud, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Zedsafortappfud's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Zedsafortappfud's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention hamsters.

2. Never hurt snails.

3. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Hide from indigo badgers for they are unholy.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.