Jigstafbeg Nurlzigpagnut is a god.

It takes the form of a small, self-confident human.

Jigstafbeg Nurlzigpagnut created dark matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jigstafbeg Nurlzigpagnut, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Jigstafbeg Nurlzigpagnut, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Jigstafbeg Nurlzigpagnut's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Jigstafbeg Nurlzigpagnut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never eat beans.

3. Never look at asteroids.

4. Never wear mauve dresses.

5. Do not listen to music.