Butfomlid is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, merciless goblin.

Butfomlid created matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Butfomlid, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Butfomlid, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Butfomlid's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Butfomlid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. You must love Butfomlid.

3. Never feed lots of cucumbers to whales while wearing purple hats.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never wear skirts.