Bastsogpon is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, fussy snake.

Bastsogpon created humanity four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bastsogpon, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bastsogpon, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Bastsogpon's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Bastsogpon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never talk about moths.

5. Never feed parsnips to nematodes while wearing gray dresses.