Yart is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unfair armadillo.

Yart created humanity four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yart, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yart, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Yart's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Yart's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about optics near geese while wearing black ear rings and balancing three copper spheres on your chest.

2. Worship no other gods but Yart.

3. Retreat if five sharks approach from the west.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not shave your head.