Nurlmeglinhen is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, thoughtless clam.

Nurlmeglinhen created vertebrates nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlmeglinhen, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nurlmeglinhen, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Nurlmeglinhen's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Nurlmeglinhen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never think ill of sick turtles.