Dapkimpascetraknurlyarlyarl is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, confident fairy.

Dapkimpascetraknurlyarlyarl created silver seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dapkimpascetraknurlyarlyarl, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dapkimpascetraknurlyarlyarl, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Dapkimpascetraknurlyarlyarl's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Dapkimpascetraknurlyarlyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Put Dapkimpascetraknurlyarlyarl first in all things.

2. Dapkimpascetraknurlyarlyarl loves squirrels, so they must be respected.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always help eagles in need.

5. Dapkimpascetraknurlyarlyarl loves dolphins, so they must be honoured.