Dossyarpjinjad is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, moody scorpion.

Dossyarpjinjad created vertebrates seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dossyarpjinjad, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Dossyarpjinjad, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Dossyarpjinjad's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Dossyarpjinjad's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention grasshopers.

2. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Dossyarpjinjad.

4. Worship no other gods but Dossyarpjinjad.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.