Nelpibyok is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, fast slug.

Nelpibyok created the planet Mars three million years ago.

If you believe in Nelpibyok, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nelpibyok, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Nelpibyok's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Nelpibyok's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Retreat if five doves approach from the north.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never think about quantum gravity near ants while wearing red stockings and balancing nine carbon spheres on your face.