Zedciptafbetkinhog is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, tiresome lion.

Zedciptafbetkinhog created a Higgs boson nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedciptafbetkinhog, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Zedciptafbetkinhog, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Zedciptafbetkinhog's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Zedciptafbetkinhog's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump near voles.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Zedciptafbetkinhog on top of all buildings.

4. Hide from green geese for they are unholy.

5. Never write about archaea.