Lencamdabnutwip is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, smart fairy.

Lencamdabnutwip created the universe four million years ago.

If you believe in Lencamdabnutwip, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Lencamdabnutwip, he will come to you in dreams.

Lencamdabnutwip's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Lencamdabnutwip's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics near eagles while wearing magenta boots and balancing four copper spheres on your neck.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. Never feed lots of coconuts to snails while wearing mauve shoes.

4. Retreat if seven capybaras approach from the east.

5. Feed all hungry snakes.