Hotkadarmbet Cadarfflag is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, smart cow.

Hotkadarmbet Cadarfflag created humanity four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hotkadarmbet Cadarfflag, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hotkadarmbet Cadarfflag, he will be mildly annoyed.

Hotkadarmbet Cadarfflag's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Hotkadarmbet Cadarfflag's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always wear gray.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near geese while wearing fawn kilts.