Cimgubhom is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, selfish fairy.

Cimgubhom created Europe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Cimgubhom, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cimgubhom, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Cimgubhom's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Cimgubhom's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cimgubhom.

2. Do not dye your hair green.

3. Never wear scarves.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Learn seven new languages a year.