Dotnurtbet is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, vain cat.

Dotnurtbet created an up quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Dotnurtbet, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Dotnurtbet, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Dotnurtbet's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Dotnurtbet's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed rice to ducks while wearing red stockings.

2. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

3. Worship no other gods but Dotnurtbet.

4. Never talk about tapirs.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.