Cabbopjanquaf is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, conceited gerbil.

Cabbopjanquaf created the Sol system four billion years ago.

If you believe in Cabbopjanquaf, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cabbopjanquaf, it will be mildly annoyed.

Cabbopjanquaf's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Cabbopjanquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime near nematodes while wearing fawn stockings.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never hurt moths.

5. Do not dye your hair blue.