Nellnuttbad is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, tiresome hippopotamus.

Nellnuttbad created a quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nellnuttbad, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nellnuttbad, it will laugh at you.

Nellnuttbad's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Nellnuttbad's Holy Commandments

1. Always help monkeys.

2. Do not keep six goats in a large pit.

3. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never hurt otters.