Volsogmit is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, witty meerkat.

Volsogmit created a strange quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Volsogmit, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Volsogmit, he will turn you into a duck.

Volsogmit's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Volsogmit's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.